“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13

I have been thinking a lot about trusting God lately. And just recently, I began to question my trust in God in a particular area of my life. But I realised today that the reason why I was doubting was because things didn’t look they way I thought they should. I think I was beginning to expect the feeling or experience of trusting God to be different in this situation. It looked like God wasn’t hearing my prayers. I think I was expecting that trusting God would mean that things wouldn’t be hard or would be different somehow. I had the mentality that “If I trust God than ‘X’ should be the outcome.”

As I reflected I was both comforted and challenged. I was comforted by the reminder that just because things don’t look like I expect them to, doesn’t mean I’m not trusting God. But I was challenged to stop trying to dictate what trusting God actually looks like, to stop trying to be in control.

I was also reminded that its through these times that God tests our faith. It’s easy to trust God when things look like we think they should, when what we think is good lines up with God’s idea of good. But it’s those times when we can’t see why we feel like we do or why certain things are happening that our contentment is really evident. Anyone can be content when they have everything they want.

The Apostle Paul is such a great testimony to this. No matter what his situation, whether it looked great or was really painful, he had learnt to trust God. That’s why he could say with confidence that he knew what it means to be content despite his circumstances. Contentment comes from trusting who God is, from really believing His good promises.

But that’s not to say it’s wrong to question what God is doing. Job did and he was called righteous before his friends. Sometimes this questioning can lead to a clearer understanding of who God is and a greater sense of peace about the chaos that seems to go on around us. Questioning sharpens our minds and strengthens our faith. And that is only a good thing.