Faith…

It can be too easy sometimes to get lost in the outcomes of our faith that we can miss what faith is all about. We are looking to move mountains but missing the point of faith. We look to what we receive by faith, sometimes even what we think by faith we should receive, instead of looking to the one through whom we receive faith and all its benefits.

I have been challenged by a friend recently to think about my faith. Am I limiting my faith by the way I think? Have I got the idea of faith wrong? Am I missing out on good things because of my lack of faith?

I think I have recently discovered that the answer to these questions is yes but not for the reasons I might have originally thought. I have been reading through Matthew’s gospel and over the last few days I’ve been noticing the times that Jesus rebukes people for their lack of faith. I have been wrestling with this idea of faith and lack of faith and it occurred to me tonight as I read Matthew 16 and 17, particularly 17:14-22, that a lack of faith is due to a focus on the outcomes of faith instead of on the person in whom we have faith. In this passage a man comes to Jesus begging him to heal his son who was possessed by a demon because Jesus’ disciples were unable to. When the disciples asked why they couldn’t heal the boy Jesus’ answer was, “Because you have so little faith.”

The disciples’ problem wasn’t to do with the outcome, exorcising the demon, but to do with their faith in Jesus. They didn’t understand that Jesus was the Son of God who was to conquer the Prince of Demons.

You see it again in 16:5-12, the disciples were thinking about outcomes, bread in this case, and missed that Jesus is the provider of all their needs. This is also why Peter, who was walking on water started to sink, because he took his eyes off Jesus and began looking at the outcome of his faith (Matt 14:22-33).

Faith is not about the outcomes but the one in whom we put our faith, Jesus Christ. When we focus squarely on him, the outcomes seem to pale in comparison, yet they flow freely at the same time! We are truly blessed abundantly when we stop looking at the outcomes of our faith and look to Jesus. Get the focus right… don’t look to the outcomes on the periphery when you can look squarely at the source, Jesus Christ himself!

When we fix our eyes on the author and perfecter of our faith, when we seek first his kingdom and stop worrying about the results, the blessings will overflow and our burdens will be much lighter!

I will get back to the singleness issue very soon… I promise!

Do you have the gift of singleness??

This is a question on the minds of many young Christians today… Many would see the gift of singleness as a special, supernatural gifting from God that disables sexual desires within a person, giving them the ability to be single for life. This ‘gift of singleness’ is also often attributed to Paul the Apostle, specifically the teaching of 1 Corinthians 7. But I think that if Paul were around today he would be most adamantly objected to this idea!

I think Paul would say (and in fact does say in 1 Cor 7:7) that if you are single, you currently have the gift of singleness! And if you are married, you currently have the gift of marriage! Both singleness and marriage are blessings from God. They are both gifts in their own right. And at any point, God, in his great wisdom, may present the occasion in which your gift may be exchanged. Just because I currently have the gift of singleness, doesn’t mean that I will never be married. And just because my married counterparts currently have the gift of marriage, doesn’t mean that as a result of a tragic accident or illness, they may once again have the gift of singleness.

Both marriage and singleness are blessings and gifts from God, although, they are two very different gifts and bring with them very different privileges and heartaches. Again, I think this is what Paul is saying in 1 Cor 7. Being married brings with it many more cares and concerns than singleness. A married person has a spouse to consider, love and take care of. With a spouse comes another whole family, with some in-laws. It may bring with it the blessing of 1, 2, 3, 4 or more children; a bunch more people to be responsible for. These things are also blessings themselves, but with each of these blessings there is a huge amount of responsibility and concerns. Singleness doesn’t bring with it these kinds of privileges and concerns; it has a set of different ones. A single person has more freedom with their time. There are less people dependent on them every time they make a decision. But it does come with the heartache of loneliness and the desire for companionship. I think this is Paul’s point in the second half of 1 Cor 7 and as a pastor he wants to spare people the worries and added concerns of marriage.

Marriage is NOT a sinful or second rate choice for those who cannot control their hormones. Again, I think Paul would be horrified with this conclusion! Marriage is a blessing from God. It was woven into the fabric of creation right back in Genesis 2 when the woman was created as a helper for the man. Marriage is a beautiful thing! However, it is also not to be elevated so highly to the detriment of the blessing of singleness! Singleness is NOT a second rate choice for those who no one really wants to marry. If you are single right now, there is NOTHING wrong with you! You are not single because you are unlovely!

Both marriage and singleness are blessings from God, and Paul is encouraging the Corinthians to get their priorities right…the Kingdom of God comes FIRST! Whatever situation God has placed you in, serve him! Don’t waste your life wishing you had the other gift. Both gifts have privileges and heartaches, and God knows your pain, whatever it might be. God is our loving Father who knows what is best for us and the hard thing is that it may not always be what we think is best for us. But God is a trustworthy God! He loves his children and is working all things out for their good (Rom 8:28). He wants us to seek first his Kingdom and his righteousness and he will provide all that we need (Matt 6:25-34). Whether we are single or married, whatever our current gifting, God wants us to use our gift for his glory. He wants us to put his kingdom first!!

To come… Can you choose lifelong singleness?

Like little children...

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these " Matthew 19:14

Lately I've been feeling like I'm walking through a pitch black night, so dark that I can't even see my hand in front of my face let alone see where I should place my foot to take my next step. As I've been reflecting on this, wishing I knew what was the best way forward, what I was to do next, I realised that I have no where to put my foot. There are no more steps that I can take...

This may seem a little depressing but it reminded me of the footprints poem and made me think that maybe I wasn't meant to be looking where to put my foot at all. Maybe I wasn't even the one walking. What I needed to realise was that I am actually being carried in the arms of my Heavenly Father who knows the way in the dark, because to him darkness is like day. I needed to trust that God would carry me. I needed to stop trying to take the next step and rest secure in the journey that God was taking me on...

It's the image of a small child, totally dependent upon her dad's strong arms to carry her in the dark night. Yet our problem is that even though we can't see a thing, we keep wanting to jump out of our Father's arms and make it on our own. We want to be grown ups, and grown ups don't need to be carried in the dark because its scary. In fact, grown ups aren't even really allowed to be scared of the dark...

We keep forgetting that the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like children, not grown ups! We can't see where we are heading in life, and sometimes we struggle to even work out where to place our foot for the next step... and its at this point that we need to remember that God knows exactly where we are heading and he knows the best way to get there, our job is to take shelter and comfort in his loving, capable arms. We need to not try to wriggle out of them but let our Father carry us...

This is the humble dependence of a child upon their capable, loving father... and the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these...

Are you thirsty??

Do you ever wonder why the harder you try to fulfill your life the less you are satisfied? Do you often feel like, "if only this or that would happen then life would be good"? Do you spend more time thinking about the things you don't have than the things you do?

I know that I often feel like this. I often spend so much time wishing I had this or that. Worrying that life isn't quite what I wanted it to be. Or feeling sad that I'm missing out on good things.

Part of the truth is that I AM missing out on good things. There are so many good things in this world and its just not possible to have them all. But the problem with this is we often dwell here... this is the place we spend all our time, feeling sad because we are missing out on good things. And this is a restless and weary place to live, always worrying about what we don't yet have...

Last night God showed me the other side of this weary and restless coin...

"Be at rest once more, O my Soul, for the LORD has been good to you." (Psalm 116:7)

When we spend all our time worrying and being sad about the good things we don't have, we completely miss the good things that God has already given us! We spend so much time longing for physical water that never satisfies that we forget to drink from the spring of living water that wells up to eternal life. And at this spring we find rest. At this spring we find joy. At this spring we find life. Because at this spring we find Jesus!

I find it crazy that I struggle to read God's word and commune with him because that is where I find this living water. I find it stupid that I would run around trying to fulfill my needs and desires when God is ALL I need because he is the one capable of giving me all things. I find it absurd that I long and thirst for physical water which will never satify me and ignore the living water that will never disapoint.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33)

God loves to bless his children... we just often miss his most beautiful blessings because we are too preoccupied with what we don't have.

Stop drinking physical water... and drink from the spring of living water that wells up to eternal life... This is where we find rest for our souls!!

It has been so long since I have posted on here so I thought it might be time...

Unfortunately I don't think I necessarily have anything profound or interesting to write. Perhaps that's why I have been silent for so long.

There has been so much that I have been thinking about in the theological world in the last 6 months but I'm not sure how to go about sharing that. I've been thinking about order of creation and what it means to be a woman created in God's image and what that means for how we relate to, minister alongside and best support men created in the image of God.

I've been thinking about feminism and how our society views how men and women relate.

I've been thinking about the atonement and how to best explain the Biblical data.

There is so much running around my head at the moment. Some of it is getting clearer, and some of it is still a massive fog... but what I can clearly say is that I am so excited to be heading back to college for this final year and to have the opportunity to think further through some of these things... and maybe I can share some of my thoughts along the way...

Control… It’s the primordial human sin. This is the problem Adam & Eve had right back at the beginning. They didn’t want to let God be in control… they wanted to be.

The more I think about control the more I think that everyone ‘has a problem with control’ to one extent or another. It may look different from person to person, and the extent to which it is a problem may differ, but essentially, being human means we have ‘a problem with control’. If this wasn’t the case, then we would have no problems trusting God. But, in reality we do!

People yearn for control. Lacking control is uncomfortable and distressing.

The ‘problem with control’ exhibits itself in different ways in different people. There appears to be temptations or problems that are predominately masculine and others that are predominantly feminine (generally speaking). Now, I can’t say a great deal about guys, since I am not one, but I have some limited observations… VERY generally speaking, it appears men attempt to gain control through force and aggression. They tend to throw their weight around when they feel insecure. There is probably more to say on this and if you are a man, please feel free to chip in and correct me or offer some other suggestions.

However, I have noticed a number of things that are predominantly feminine temptations in the world of control. Women attempt to control their husbands (or the men around them) through nagging. They try to control their bodies through exercise, diets and most noticeably ‘problems with control’ exhibit themselves in eating disorders.

But the one that is most interesting to me is the way that women dream and fantasise about real life: the future, romance, whatever really. I think the reason women do this is because it creates a ‘feeling’ of being in control. Things always work out the way you want them to when you are dreaming. You are never disappointed and you get to decide what is best. BUT this isn’t control at all. It’s an illusion. The big problem that this creates is a false sense of security and this can be very damaging to the woman involved.

But, the BIGGEST problem with our ‘problem with control’ is that it drags us away from God. We try to rely on ourselves instead of running to the God who created everything, knows everything and is ACTUALLY in control of everything.

There are so many things in this life that we can’t control… most things really… and recently I have been reminded that we can try to take our lives into our own hands but it won’t necessarily work out as we plan. What’s more, it can turn out to be more disastrous than it was in the first place. I, along with 3 other work mates, had the terrible experience of seeing a girl attempt to take her own life. As far as I know, she did not succeed. Part of me is sad on her account, that life was so horrible before she jumped but now life is likely be worse. But part of me rejoices that she gets a second chance at life.

But I guess one thing is for sure… no matter what we do we cannot overcome or thwart the plans of God. If God wants us to live… we will live. If God wants us to die… we will die. This sounds miserable and horrible but the comforting thing in all of this is that God knows better than me. I don’t know why horrible things happen all the time but God does… and he is in control. And I can know God. He is loving, merciful, kind, just, righteous and holy. I can know the one who knows what’s going on. What a comfort!!

Psalm 33

1 Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;
it is fitting for the upright to praise him.

2 Praise the LORD with the harp;
make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.

3 Sing to him a new song;
play skillfully, and shout for joy.

4 For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.

5 The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.


6 By the word of the LORD were the heavens made,
their starry host by the breath of his mouth.

7 He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;
he puts the deep into storehouses.

8 Let all the earth fear the LORD;
let all the people of the world revere him.

9 For he spoke, and it came to be;
he commanded, and it stood firm.

10 The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.

11 But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.


12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
the people he chose for his inheritance.

13 From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind;

14 from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth—

15 he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.

16 No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.

17 A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.

18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

19 to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.


20 We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.

21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13

I have been thinking a lot about trusting God lately. And just recently, I began to question my trust in God in a particular area of my life. But I realised today that the reason why I was doubting was because things didn’t look they way I thought they should. I think I was beginning to expect the feeling or experience of trusting God to be different in this situation. It looked like God wasn’t hearing my prayers. I think I was expecting that trusting God would mean that things wouldn’t be hard or would be different somehow. I had the mentality that “If I trust God than ‘X’ should be the outcome.”

As I reflected I was both comforted and challenged. I was comforted by the reminder that just because things don’t look like I expect them to, doesn’t mean I’m not trusting God. But I was challenged to stop trying to dictate what trusting God actually looks like, to stop trying to be in control.

I was also reminded that its through these times that God tests our faith. It’s easy to trust God when things look like we think they should, when what we think is good lines up with God’s idea of good. But it’s those times when we can’t see why we feel like we do or why certain things are happening that our contentment is really evident. Anyone can be content when they have everything they want.

The Apostle Paul is such a great testimony to this. No matter what his situation, whether it looked great or was really painful, he had learnt to trust God. That’s why he could say with confidence that he knew what it means to be content despite his circumstances. Contentment comes from trusting who God is, from really believing His good promises.

But that’s not to say it’s wrong to question what God is doing. Job did and he was called righteous before his friends. Sometimes this questioning can lead to a clearer understanding of who God is and a greater sense of peace about the chaos that seems to go on around us. Questioning sharpens our minds and strengthens our faith. And that is only a good thing.