On MAC!

I feel like I need to add a disclaimer to my previous post on MAC. Yes I do struggle to live at MAC but that is largely due to my childhood and living at MAC brings up things that I guess I haven't dealt with properly yet. MAC is not really bad and many girls really enjoy living here. And to be honest there have been things that I have enjoyed about living in this community. It has been a great place to foster friendships (some of the friends I have met here are invaluable to me). It is a place where people care for each other and look out for each other.

Often when our emotions are sore then things get a little out of perspective (as they did for me on Monday). MAC is not a bad place to be. It has been difficult for me, it is true, but I am only 1 out of 42 girls and each girl has her own story. Some really enjoy living here. And any college-like place that you live in (even with just a couple of girls in a house) has its ups and downs. There will always be little things that bug you - but that is life - you can't avoid it. But that is not to say that it is a horrible place to be. I guess there is just so much stuff going on in my head at the moment, lots of emotions I am trying to sort through and this also heightens the feelings you have. It is also sinful nature to lash out at something tangible when you are having an emotional overload. And I am quite aware of my sinful nature.

On Tues I went and spoke to the Dean of Students here at MAC about how I was feeling and she was amazing. It says a lot when people who are a part of the institution you struggle with will happily sit down with you and empathize with how you are feeling while maintaining their commitment to the institution. It was a very helpful time.

So I guess the bottom line is that I am quite ashamed of saying the things I said in my out burst on Monday and I am sorry if they have tainted people's view of MAC. While I struggle here, I am aware that it is not completely MAC's fault and that there are lots of things that I need to deal with too. I hope these thoughts are helpful too.

Now it is time for me to sleep.

It's been a while

I apologize to those who actually read my blog for not updating for a while. But life has been consuming lately. I have not been coping well with life in general and to add to that I have had mountains of college work to do. Currently I am supposed to be writing a sermon that I am to preach in the morning at Chicks Chapel but it is tough and I have had an unpleasant interlude.

I guess if you know me personally out there you would know my struggles with living at MAC. Over the last little while they have heightened significantly and I am no longer coping very well at all with living here. I hate it. It is an inflexible institution that charges painfully high fees to FORCE you to live here. There seems to be little escape from this place. I have recently been looking at the prices of flats in the area but the sad thing is that even if I can move out I wont be able to do that until the end of this year. There is a little bit of light coming up as friends are going to Greece for 3 1/2 weeks (and possibly more) next tues and I will get to house sit their house for them. If you have a house and you will be going away anytime this year and would like someone to housesit then please let me know. I will happily look after pets and plants and even children if it gets me away from this place.

Well I should go and try to get this sermon done. For the prayers out there, please pray for me. I can do with all the prayer I can get right now!!